“I would like to have one day where not one second I missed one moment of the love that is available.” – Peter Van Dyk”

Peter Van Dyk died at his home in Fairfax California on May- 22-2014. Peter was a incredibly talented peace educator and family counselor in Northern California who had Stage 4 Melanoma. He worked for years teaching violent men and their families how to be peaceful.
As I write this I am very aware that the word death or died is not a word that as a culture here in America that we are uncomfortable with. Indeed we ignore and try never to think about this topic that we will all have to face. I honor and totally accept and respect everyone where-ever they may be in their personal understanding of living and dying. I share my experience and thoughts on this matter with the hope that some may find something of value and be perhaps inspired to live their lives to their fullest potential and celebrate life and death.

In Buddhism the belief that if one accepts their inevitable death completely than one’s life can be fully lived.

I write the following about one such man who was courageous and honest with himself about such matters. Most of his adult life he gave himself over to be in service to others, and at times lost his own way on this human journey, that we are all on together as if we are walking each other home to our final resting place.

My experience with Peter for the last two years has been one that I shall always cherish. He was not afraid to show his humanity, at times his boyish playful energy would come forth and humbly give way to a curious fascination of all.

He lived life on his own terms, and respected that others did the same. Peter loved it when he noticed that I would show my true self, he seemed to understand on a very deep level without any judgment that one must be their authentic self, no matter what.

With curiosity guiding his way he spoke about, that perhaps the years before the onset of his disease, he could of been more loving, more present to himself and available to others. And now with the knowing that his death was near he was forced to face the reality of what may of been and could be.

Many people who found themselves in this state of suffering and psychical pain, are completely transformed by this experience, to awaken to a new found joy, of release from their all to familiar patterns and separation from others.

There was a constant thread that ran through all of our conversations that held Peters attention, that love was the single most important fact in ones life that he knew that could
experience and share with others.

Victoria VanAyerst http://www.artofconsciouslivingtv.com

Peter wrote the following on

“I would like to have one day where not one second I missed one moment of the love that is available.” – Peter Van Dyk”

Hello my Dear Friends,

I haven’t written for a while, seems like I’m in a holding pattern, been circling for a few weeks checking out safe landing runways.

Basically, magically everything remains the same. I am still waiting on a call back from UCSF about the clinical trial. I am gaining weight, exercising, eating well & feeling loved & loving.

Feeling very blessed, seen & understood, by the closest ‘most’ important people in my life at this time. And even beginning to understand & have a little compassion for myself.

My wild silence the last few weeks has not meant to distance me from you, or lessen the deep appreciation & love I have for you. Instead I have been waiting until I found something honest, something raw and something unique, something I haven’t said before & maybe something NO one else has ever said before. There is something inside me needing to come out, needing to be given voice, there must be, otherwise I would not have this desire, this compelling force to be heard, to be connected to you. So this is it.

I am most amazed, impressed & fascinated by the ability of one human being to love another human being. I think this is the secret of the universe, the multi-verse & the one, the only thing I have to say. People love—– they love each other—–they love themselves—-they love more than one, people love their families, friends, dogs, coffee, a cool breeze on a warm day, and eyes, don’t You just love eyes?

Anyway, this is what has been filling my days, this simple realization, people love. They simply love. They love perfectly & not so perfectly, can any love be imperfect? Doggone, Isn’t that amazing!!! Damn, that is amazing & marvelous & worthy of praise. Everyone I know loves someone, something, some idea, some moment, everyone wants love, needs love, everyone is love.

Stop right now & let love find you, let love fill you, let it flush out anything else……..until only love remains. Isn’t that something, when reminded you can experience, create, remember, find, be love. At any time love is waiting for you & me. Your love is undeniable! My love is undeniable too! Is this love actually yours? Is it mine?

No matter what has been done to you, no matter what you have done to yourself or an other, you are still love. You are lovable, loving, loved. You, I all of us are love…….. All of us have this capacity, ability, need, desire, design……. We have been designed to love & this program is our truth!

This cancer, that is inside me, that I am learning to love, this cancer got its start when I forgot this simple, absolute truth. I had chased love away, I had forgotten even the love of God, the love of our designer. And then love came alive in me, again. The cancer sparked, ignited, reminded me of this, our design……….No, actually YOU sparked, ignited, reminded me of this. You, the other in my world, showed up & so did love. It is You, who was designed to love who showed up & graced, blessed me with love & reminded me of my love too. I had forgotten my song, my design, my love……& then you showed up, seeing me, holding me, loving me, singing my song, inviting me, welcoming me, home to myself to your love & then love itself exploded in my soul & love became all there is. And I thank you, you have allowed me to love once again & to know love like never before.

Peter 2.20.14

Hello Dear Ones,

Waking early one morning recently I had a little time of wonder & awe, a moment where I seemed to have stumbled into an entirely non- ordinary world. I opened my door as the first rays of light were brightening my small yard & garden. As I stepped on the grass I looked around & everything I saw came to life. All the plants, the trees, the flowers, the grass, gave off their own light. It seemed as if the light from the sun was waking up their life force and I had stumbled into an energetic force field of life itself. Everything around me seemed like it was letting me see it for the first time. Everything was connected & sparkling with life itself.

I sat down very softly & slowly glanced around. I felt like I was being exposed to a magical universe where anything, everything was possible. I even saw or felt like there were fairies around the plants like they all had their own little Tinker Bells to nurture & protect them. It seemed like they were aware of my presence & they were ok with it, more than ok they were welcoming me & happy I was there. I was sitting quietly with my ears, eyes, heart open & observing this community waking up & greeting this new day with love. Then suddenly I went from observing to being a part of the community. I was waking up too & greeting my new day with love. I felt my life force stirring, shimmering with light & love & I felt it coming out of me, joining with the field of light & love all around me & then I disappeared, there was only light and love. There were no trees, flowers, plants, sun, air, space, things, forms, there was no me, only love and light and peace and a joy of completeness, a joy of bliss & a joy of total & complete oneness.

Thank you for being with me, thank you for being a part of my community, thanks for being a Being of love & light & joining me to complete the joy of Oneness.

I go in tomorrow for my 2nd round of the new chemo treatment. I have been dealing with the pain much better, the tumor is shrinking and I am feeling stronger both physically, emotionally & mentally. I have been excited about working on this concept of healing a death. This process is about healing all the parts of my self that I have abandoned, ignored, given away or that have been unskillful, unkind, scared & scary, the parts of me that came to protect & defend & keep me safe, all of these parts that ended up damaging my friends & myself. I am inviting & bringing all these parts up for me to hear & to heal. I have also been doing the work of forgiving myself & understanding my self. More shall be revealed, more will be healed. I know light & love are here whenever I stop & recognize life, whenever I join myself with life, the light & love are One.

Thanks for being my community, thanks for your light, your love, blessings I do love you. Peter

Peter wrote this on 3-9-14
“Yesterday the CAT scan results showed that the cancer has spread across my brain in massive size and in many locations. Ahhhhhhhhhh, so I
now have days left to live, maybe a week or two or maybe even 3 weeks or maybe a month or two.
“So today is the very first day of the rest of my life. And so how do I live now? What do I feel? What do I think? Who am I? AND how do I
function bravely this day & tomorrow?

“I just wanted to get the news out ASAP to all my friends & ask for your prayers. More doctor visits, hospital tests will follow.

“Thank you for all of the love & for all of your generosity & all of your kindness,

“I will be writing as accurately as I can & with a full open heart of love, I may have whatever time I have left, i want to give it all away.
May God kiss you all awake, may your families be blessed, May love stay strong in your souls and may I be feeling the joy of life until the
day I am no longer breathing, I love You all, may God grant me with peace, grace & may I share it with you all.
“Blessings, love & total kindness.
I Love You, I need You. May we be kind to each other from now till forever, Peace”

Peter van Dyk interview on his terminal illness and the love he is finding and sharing. Very touching. I am resting in Heart after watching. Watch if you want to soften the edges of your life. – Daniel

Just took a walk here on the mountain. Peter’s love is palpable. “May the Pure Light within him (and all his friends and family) guide his way on”. Such an amazing healing journey, his life! Now heading for nothing less than “Love Itself”. “Peace is just the beginning”. You guys are awesome! – Maria Michell.

Spread your wings…fly free of the body… go with grace…sending you much love and prayers in this transition Pete…we’ll miss your sweetness- Miriam Lichtenstein.


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